From Kalima

Back in April 2006, Dad asked me to speak at his funeral. His only guidance was to make everything short and sweet. When writing this, I realized that not only would I disobey him one last time, but I would also get away with it. The man who made such huge contributions to the Nation and his family, the man who influenced many of us, passed away last Tuesday on the 4th of July.

It’s been said that one of life's greatest fears is losing a parent. My brothers and sisters and I know this all too well. I've always heard that time and good memories will heal the pain that comes with his loss and I can honestly say by your presence and help over the past week, the healing has begun.

Dad was 63 when he left us, which was definitely not enough time too accomplish all he had from the cards he was dealt throughout his life. He was born a short time after the Great Depression in the hospital he passed away in. He was part of a large family and just like many other families back then, they weren’t all that wealthy
There were a lot of responsibilities put on him at a very young age and I think that contributed quite a bit to how he was perceived by most people that came in contact with him. At a young age he knew life was a struggle but still chose to tackle life's roughest paths because he knew it led to the best places. As you may already have known, he joined the Army at a very young age. In his own words he says, “I often wonder(ed) if going in the Army was the right thing for me to do, but considering all the other options, (I was left) no other choice. Too many mouths to feed at home”. Most people will make sacrifices like that for their children, but Dad did it as a child himself for his brothers, sisters and his entire family back home. The traits of an oldest sibling shined in his new occupation. He was always in charge, always getting things done right the first time and constantly felt an intense urge to take care of people.

The Army got their moneys worth from Dad in no time at all. He enlisted as a young Paratrooper in the Screaming Eagles and grew up fast. He was promoted just as quick and was coerced into becoming an Officer after attaining the rank of Staff Sergeant. Dad shined as Commissioned Officer and would later go into Combat with a Scout Platoon in the Americal Division, ending his first tour in Vietnam as a Company Commander. It was there that Dad rose to the occasion several times. One of which earned him the Silver Star for Gallantry. His citation reads:

Long ago when I would listen to him tell his war stories, I remember that each story usually contained the phrase, ”I had to bring them boys home”. After watching Forrest Gump for the first time, Dad jokingly pointed out that he had saved more guys than PVT Gump had.

After a strenuous tour in Vietnam, Dad wanted more. He was stationed at Ft. Gordon, training soldiers but wanted to do other things. He contacted the Dept. of the Army and asked to go to Ranger School. They told him he couldn’t and that he had to finish his year at Ft. Gordon. He immediately requested to go to flight school and was denied again. After being denied twice, Dad asked to go to the Special Forces Qualification Course enroute to Vietnam. The Army couldn’t deny that request and he succeeded at meeting the high standards of wearing the coveted Green Beret. He then deployed to Vietnam yet again, this time though with the most decorated combat unit to come out of the Vietnam war, the 5th Special Forces Group. He had come from nothing as a 17 y/o farm boy to becoming an officer in the most competitive career field that the military could offer by dedicating himself as Special Forces soldier to ensure that the weak could overcome the stronger adversary and he made this happen, time and time again. He made sure to raise us this way too. Where most father's would punish their children for fighting in school, he made sure we only fought when we were in the right and in all cases we were rewarded for standing up for ourselves and our family.

He spent a total of 21 years of the first part of his life in the Army and even after retiring, he devoted more of his time to training soldiers at the Pohakuloa Training Area in Hawaii. It was here that he was pivotal in a multi-million dollar project that would increase the efficiency of training on the 260,000 acre training facility. While there, Dad coordinated the huge feat of lighting flares over hundreds of acres, in the shape of a horse-shoe. He did all that so that the Space Shuttle “Challenger” could snap a pretty picture of his artwork on Challenger’s maiden voyage.

It wasn’t too long after this that his doctor told him that his heart wasn’t up to the challenge of his lifestyle. That’s when he got serious about fishing and changed his career from Soldier-trainer to deep-sea fisherman. He ran a charter boat called “Summer Rain” with Barry as his deck-hand. They were a great team and Dad was doing what he loved the most. Dad loved to fish, whether it was here at Old Timber’s or off the coast of Kailua-Kona, Hawaii. Matter of fact, he fished in my sister’s yard before he went to the hospital for the last time.

Growing up in our family was trying at times but Dad devoted all of his energy to making sure we grew up with the mindset to face the world as mature adults. When the family was together was when he was happiest. We’d usually end up talking about whatever random topic someone started off with. We were pretty diverse with our topics but his were usually ones that he was passionate about, politics and such. Where you could clearly tell he was a man of his word, who stuck to his guns on how he felt about things and would never hold back punches when talking about things that he had strong feelings about. He was a true conservative and it would upset him too see or hear about anything unpatriotic. Which I thought was a good thing.

Most of that time though, he focused on making sure the “family-machine” was running well and he couldn’t rest until everything was in good order. "Good order" is an understatement if I were to describe how he left us on this year's Independence Day.

After it was all said and done, he accomplished something that only a few parents can say they’ve done. He kept a family together through very rough times, whether it was health related, growing pains or just plain bad luck. We all came out smelling like roses. He raised some good kids but I think Barry and I could have made it a little easier on him. I don’t think there would be too many father’s out there that would’ve wanted to trade places with him, from that perspective. However, as much as Barry and I rebelled against him when we were younger, we both ended up considering him our best friend.

As strict as he was, he never wanted to take any of us to our first day of school. He would ask Mom one last time in bed the night before just to make sure we had to go to school. He wanted to ensure that we would be able to handle life’s struggles and wanted to prepare us for that. Sometimes people took that the wrong way, but it paid off. He was extremely strong-minded and could easily come across as a little overbearing, but he never, not once took advantage of someone weaker. However, he either loved you or didn't talk to you but his attitude never kept him from greeting strangers kindly. A lot of you may have started your relationship off with him this very way.

With all that said, he was very modest and especially around people we didn’t know. I don’t know how many 100’s of people he’s come across that had no clue what he had accomplished in life or how he grew up.

As his health slipped away, he would struggle with the things we take for granted. He and Mom would sometimes get really frustrated so I'd tell Dad, "ah you're good" and he’d tell Mom, “I’m good Mom”. I’d tell him that to let him know that those things are the small stuff in life and what he had left us with forever is so much more than we can ever pay him back for.

He told me recently that he felt bad to put this stress on us this way. It brought him to tears as he said he was so proud of us. Up to the very last breath he wanted to make sure it was as stress-free for us as possible.

He succeeded in a big way, we spent that night sifting through old family pictures and laughing together next to his bed. Most of us hadn't laughed like that in months. He made sure to make it as stress free for my sister even though she was trying her best to foil his plan as she was enroute at that very moment.

He laid there with his eyes shut while some of us stepped out momentarily or had dozed off and then he saw his moment of opportunity to leave quietly. He had no regrets, he had definitely made peace.

I'd be willing to say that he's looking down on us right now saying, "ah you're good".

Again, I’d like to thank you for all the things, big and small, that you all have done for my family. I’m sure Dad would agree that helping us like that is a bigger honor to him then any eulogy could do.